A message from Rev Sarah…

Dear friends,
 
Firstly, a huge thank you to you all for your support as a congregation following the unexpected death of my brother, Simon, at the beginning of November.  The three months since Simon’s death have been very hard for me and my family.  As he took his own life we are left with a lot of questions and no easy answers.  Your prayers are much appreciated.

One comment that has been made to me that I have found very helpful was from someone who’s family had been through a similar experience, albeit many years ago. Their comment was along the lines of saying that my family may well find that we have joined a club that we never expected or wanted to join.  As I have taken up again the various responsibilities of my ministry and had contact with friends near and far, I have found that a small but significant number of people have said to me that their sister, brother, parent, or child have taken their life.  Suicide is a sadly all too common event in our communities.

Not so very long ago, suicide was understood as a crime in England and Wales (though not in Scotland) and a sin by the Church.  This is how the language of ‘commit suicide’ arose.  People who attempted to end their own lives could be sentenced to prison as a result.  It was only in the 1960s that English and Welsh law was changed.  Today the desire to take one’s own life is largely understood to be a mental health issue rather than an action of wrongdoing. Suicide is the one of the biggest causes of death in young and younger men in our society today.

We might wonder why. Depending on who is being asked, a variety of reasons might be offered, some of which we might find ourselves in agreement with, and others markedly less so.  We hear in the press how there is a crisis in masculinity and read about the huge pressures on younger people that did not exist in the same way in even the recent past.
 
We might ask ourselves what can we do?  What can we do in our church, our families, communities and workplaces?  What can schools, colleges, universities, the armed forces, youth organisations, sports groups and teams do to support the boys and young men in our midst? As ever we can start with ourselves and reflect on how the assumptions and attitudes, we might hold about the world might inadvertently be damaging to those around us rather than supportive. We almost certainly don’t wish to make life any harder for anyone around us but sometimes all of us say the wrong thing or act in a way that isn’t helpful.
In respect of ourselves we can try and create an atmosphere where those around us feel like it’s OK to talk. Where speaking about hard things isn’t a taboo.  Where no one feels pressure to pretend that everything in life is great when it isn’t.  Where feelings and emotions aren’t glossed over as less than thought and reason.

I am conscious writing this reflection that I will not be the only one connected with MUC who has suicide as part of the story of their life. We do not always know who this issue has affected and can have no clue who might be impacted by it in the future.  Our part as followers of Jesus is to bind up the broken-hearted and to support those who mourn.  Sometimes that means binding up our own broken hearts.  As we attend to our own woundedness, by this and by so many other events and experiences of our lives, we offer prayer and support to those hurting around us in so many different ways, some which we can see and others which we cannot.

With love and prayers

Sarah
The Rev Sarah Moore
Transitional Minister